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I saw you again today in the lift. You looked lost somewhere which gave me ample time to take in your beauty. To take in those eyes, deep deep eyes. That chiselled nose, and those lips. I loved that chin of yours, tilted to that stubborn angle. You seem like a matured guy with a kid inside. Seeing you makes me want to love the kid inside and to be loved by the man.
Ah! Me and my fantasies again. I should admit that for a married woman I have not lost the imagination. At times I think of speaking to you, to tell you a lot of things, to tell you how lonely I am. To tell you that the guy, this society calls my husband is no where related to me. Emotionally we lost contact years ago and after the three miscarriages, he lost interest in me physically too. I am like the phone number which cannot be deleted from your contact list and is never dialled. The unpaid maid who sleeps in the master’s bed.
Ah! Leave it. Now days I don’t like thinking about him or cry on my miseries of life. Now I have you to fill my dreams and thoughts. To fill the void created and thats whats makes life beautiful. In the past two years I had lost the urge to dress up or try and look good. But now days I can’t stop staring in the mirror and blushing like a love sick teenager. At times I make faces in front of the mirror imagining you to see from somewhere laugh and talk to me. You at times feel like the manna from heaven sent to make me happy again.
Can’t forget the day you came to our flat, talked to Ashok, and told him you were shifting to the flat next to ours. And borrowed the stool. I was there, looking at you from behind the curtain. From that day onwards my heartbeat has not been back to normal. Even Ashok noticed some changes. He actually after years of ignoring said that I look different and asked the reason. Why should I tell him, that it’s because I am in love again. I feel pretty again. The love songs make sense again and every time I open the door, my eyes search for that known face again. It’s like am alive again.
This is no bollywood movie so I know that there will be no happy ending. May be you will never know my name let alone like me, u will not even know that I exist let alone touch me. But you know what I have no hopes and no demands, because after a long long time I am happy, happy, not for him, not for you but happy for myself and in the end isn’t it all that matters. My happy ending.
Author: Rati Agrawal | Published Sep 23, 2009 | 11:20 PM
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Comments
agree wid binoy ! but overall its realy nice !! :)
By Vishalkeswani | Mar 07, 2010 | 02:05 AM | Login to flag commentwow miss, this is awesome. really awesome.
By Abhishek | Nov 15, 2009 | 11:47 PM | Login to flag commenthey nice story..like this one,
By yuri alfred | Oct 12, 2009 | 02:22 PM | Login to flag commentGood to read but somewhere not proper to understandable anyway "It’s like am alive again"
By Darshan | Oct 06, 2009 | 09:16 AM | Login to flag commentNice work...gr8 imagination..looking foirward to read your othr posts
By anupam | Sep 30, 2009 | 11:47 PM | Login to flag commentRati, very fluent style. Reads like a poetry.. Glad for the happy ending.
By Jodhika Vespa | Sep 24, 2009 | 10:38 PM | Login to flag commentI really like the blogpost.
By Karishma | Sep 24, 2009 | 10:01 PM | Login to flag commentIt's interesting how u have put urself in the shoes of a married woman and written about her.
most people just blog about personal experiences :)
Wonderful carry through the start, nicely fantasized and brought back to reality. loved that a lot. I find something missing in the ending paras though. great work. :)
By Aniket | Sep 24, 2009 | 08:29 PM | Login to flag commentReally interesting writing style, especially the phrase:"I am like the phone number which cannot be deleted from your contact list and is never dialed". Overall, I really appreciated the style. Write more.
By Ashu | Sep 24, 2009 | 09:51 AM | Login to flag commentNice....Liked the way the story took a turn..:)
By Neha Gandhi | Sep 24, 2009 | 09:32 AM | Login to flag commentcertain emotions cannot be restricted and if someone can make us feel good, then why not?!! but since the blog ends with 'hope', beware, because hope is the quintessential human delusion!!!
By go2_da_rebl | Sep 24, 2009 | 07:45 AM | Login to flag commentthis happens. before we know it, it happens.
By streetanchor | Sep 24, 2009 | 12:46 AM | Login to flag commenttoo fast m'lady too fast
By thesanelyinsane | Sep 24, 2009 | 12:38 AM | Login to flag commentThat's a good read. But, rather than falling in love with another person, why don't we try to fall in love with the person whom we have loved until then?
By Suneel | Sep 24, 2009 | 12:27 AM | Login to flag commentSmall concept, but hard to understand.
congratulations. that was a heck of an article you wrote there. :) you could do a big name in FICTION'al writing. you know that.
By G Baggs | Sep 23, 2009 | 11:56 PM | Login to flag commentDerived happiness is useless. 'Happy' is a term we use too liberally. This isn't her happy ending. Her death is slow, and painful.
By Shantanu | Sep 23, 2009 | 11:47 PM | Login to flag commentSomething different this time :)
By Arti Honrao | Sep 23, 2009 | 11:47 PM | Login to flag commentWell-written.
Happy ending is how we look at it. Sometimes, it might not be ending at all ...
Might be just the beginning! You never know.
Keep writing
GBU
Arti
Hey its really nice. But I dunno why, some how I felt there was a sense of urgency in the paragraph to get over. And the first para...to some extent I felt its bit overpowered with poetic words. Still over all, its pleasing and nice to read.
By Binoy | Sep 23, 2009 | 11:45 PM | Login to flag commentKeep up the good work girl. :)
Good.. but somehow i couldn't digest the whole concept :P
By Jagan | Sep 23, 2009 | 11:35 PM | Login to flag comment